And Then He Was Two

I can hardly believe that this Saturday my little boy Matthew turns two.  Where has the time gone?  I can still remember the day he was born clear as day.  I wrote a blog then and if you did not get a chance to read it then, you can read it here.

Oh how the memories of his birth flow back to me like a river released from a dam.  The feelings of being a new father and knowing that this new life, which you help bring into this world, will be shaped and formed by the person you are.

Making life fills you with humility, balls, arrogance, a mighty manliness, confidence, terror, joy, dread, and love, a sense of calm and reckless adventure.  It is a complete bag of different emotions.  Isn’t anything possible now?  If we can populate the world, can’t we create and shape it?  Then reality and diapers and formula and sleepless nights and child seats and yellow custard crap and cream cheese vomit set in.  But…oh, these are the blessed needs and fluids of my boy and at the end of each headachy, tiring new world of a day, we are exhausted but exalted by new identities, Mom and Dad!

At home, we take alternating shifts.  I walk my boy lost miles across our tiny bedroom floor until his eyes go from full to half-mast to…sleep.  Sitting back in the recliner chair with Matthew upon my chest, I watch him rise and fall with each breath I take.  I listen and count each and every exhalation of his lungs, his breaths still so few as to remain countable, a prayer to God, Matthew’s ultimate Creator.  I inhale his baby smells, secure him gently in my hands, synchronize our breathing, and I drift to sleep in peace.

The endorphin high of birth fades, but its trace remains with you forever, its fingerprints indelible proof of love’s presence and daily grandeur.  You have offered up your prayer.  You have vowed service to a new world and laid a bedrock of earthly faith.  You have chosen your sword, your shield, and where you will fall.  Whatever tomorrow brings, these things, these people, will be with you always.  The power of choice, of a life, a lover, a place to stand, will be there to be called upon and make fresh sense of your tangled history.  More important, it will also be there when you waver, when you’re lost, providing you with the elements of a new compass, encased within your heart.

From here on, the hard gravitational pull of the past will have a formidable challenger: your current life.  Together, Stephanie and I made one and one equal three.  That is God’s miracle.  That is life.

This new life revealed that I was more than my life had ever previously been.  It was more than any song, any story, any night, any idea, any truth, any lie, any shadow, any question, any answer, and any moment could ever bear.  All of these were just a restless figment of my own and others’ imagination.  Work is work and play is play, but life is life, and life trumps everything else.

Matthew, these past two years have been the greatest years of my life.  Anything I have ever done or accomplished pale in comparison to what you have given me.  You have given my life a new purpose.  You have made me see the world in a completely different way.  You have shown me God in a way I had never previously known.  Matthew, you have redefined who I am as a man and that is really the greatest gift anyone could ever hope to get.

I know that this is not the end.  There are so many days (God willing) to come, so many memories to write unto my heart, and so many things I still want to teach you.  I just wanted to take this moment in time to pause and tell you what you mean to me.  You are my little boy and I am prouder of you than I will ever be able to express to you in words or actions.  I am proud of the little boy you are today and I am proud of the man you will become one day.  Each day I get to spend with you in my life is a gift from God and I cherish each moment.

You truly are the best part of me Matthew and I hope you enjoy your day.  You deserve it!

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About wmarsau

Most of the people who visit this blog already know me so it is kind of pointless to try to describe my life in this short little blurb. What is the purpose of this blog is the question. Over the course of this last year I have been exposed to some amazing people and have made personal development an important focus of my life. Being successful, not by the world's standards, but by God's has become my main focus. Mainly, I want to work to develop myself as a person who is kinder, reaches out to help those in need, and truly makes a difference in this world. To this end I am constantly reading and am exposed to so many differnet things along the way. These have been amazing and it is helping me grow so much. Then I started to think, "Why am I being so selfish?" You need to share with others these amazing things you are learning and being exposed to. That is where this blog comes into play. As I am reading and experiencing things that are truly amazing and life changing, I will be posting them on this blog. Obviously, I will not be able to post everything in it's entirity, but I will be summarizing them and letting you know the source of the article or book they come from so you can check them out later if you wish. I want this blog to be a place where you can go to often and be inspired and leave here with a smile on your face. I will be covering all kinds of different topics dealing with success and personal development. Topics like taking action, relationships, living to your potential, reinventing yourself, finances, leadership, presenting, goal setting, time management, etc. I will also be occasionally including topics on cooking, music, and gardening because they are special interests of mine. As a little disclaimer, I have given my life to the Lord and he is #1 in my life. I am his servant and everything I do in life is for his glory. With that being said, religion influences all areas of my life. There will be references to God in this blog because I can't seperate God from this or any other area of my life. I want you to know that if you do not believe in God, that is fine. That is your choice. This blog is open to anyone who wants to better their life. I will not be trying to influence or pressure anyone into having a relationship with the Lord from this site. Please don't feel uncomfortable. You can just read the portions of the blog that you wish to. I am inviting you to go on a journey with me. We will learn together to be the kind of people we were designed to be. Anyone can make a difference in this world, but it starts%
This entry was posted in Attitude, Bible, Communication, Decisions, Friendship, God, Growth, Holy Spirit, Hope, Inspirational, Jesus, Leaving a Legacy, Life Stories, Love, Parenting, Prioritize, Purpose, Reinventing Yourself, Relationships, Remembering, Thoughts/Mindset, Time and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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