A Better Kind of Love (Part 6)

you and me 6

If you have not read Part 1 of this blog yet, I would highly recommend going back and reading that blog before you read this blog.  This blog will make very little sense if you have not read Part 1 first.  You can read Part 1 of this blog series here.

Here are the action steps we have discussed so far:

Action 1: Discover Their Little Joys.   Read Part 2 here.

Action 2: Kiss Unselfishly.  Read Part 3 here.

Action 3:”Just Because” Gifts.  Read Part 4 here.

Action 4: Ask, “Is This Okay?”  Read Part 5 here.

In today’s blog, we will be discussing the 5th action step that I have come up with that I can work on doing that will help sustain my present relationship and future marriage with Steph.  Remember, these are all action steps you can use and work on with me to improve your present relationships or marriages as well.

Action 5: Say, “I’m Sorry”

How many of you have messed up, stubbornly refused to repent, and suffered two or three weeks of the cold shoulder from your partner?  Wouldn’t it have been easier on you (and your partner) if you had delivered a sincere and timely apology?

Why do we tend to be so pig-headed about this?

As men, if we leave the toilet seat up, we easily say, “I’m sorry.”  If we forget to pick up something while we are at the grocery store, we say without even thinking, “My bad.”  Those are relatively minor infractions and it somehow seems easier to say we are sorry for minor things.

It should be exactly the same with the big things that we screw up on.  When you say something terribly stupid, forget something terribly important, or do something terribly disgraceful, it is just as important that you come back with an “I’m Sorry.”  Just because the infraction is bigger, it does not mean that it should take longer for the apology to come.

When you do find yourself needing to make one of those bigger apologies, I would like to recommend the following steps to follow so that your “I’m sorry,” comes off as being sincere:

Steps for saying “I’m sorry,” the right way

Step 1: Find a quiet place.

Step 2: Do several minutes of soul-searching.

Step 3: Decide what kind of promise or restitution needs to be made.

Step 4: Go to the person.

Step 5: Acknowledge the damage you have done.

Step 6: Express remorse.

Step 7: Ask for forgiveness.

The bible has a couple of really good passages that show the importance of asking for forgiveness.

Psalm 32:1-5 (NIV)

Blessed is the one
    whose transgressions are forgiven,
    whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the one
    whose sin the Lord does not count against them
    and in whose spirit is no deceit.

When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.

Proverbs 14:9 (NIV)

Fools mock at making amends for sin,
    but goodwill is found among the upright.

I seem to be pretty good at saying the words, “I’m sorry,” when I mess something up.  The part I seem to struggle with is having genuine remorse when I am saying it.  Sometimes it seems like I am saying the words just to say the words, but they seem to have very little meaning behind them.  I’m sure Steph would tell you how frustrating that can be at times.  It is not like I meant to mess up, but when I do, I need to just learn to be a little more humble when I approach Steph and ask for her forgiveness.  That is the aspect that I really need to work on improving.

Lynn Johnston, a cartoonist, says “An apology is the superglue of life.  It can repair just about anything.”  I would say that I definitely agree with that.

We need to ask ourselves two very important questions:

How quick am I to apologize for minor mistakes?

Is there something major for which I need to seek my partner’s forgiveness?

I would like to challenge all of us to work on our apologies with our partners.  We need to say “I’m sorry” more frequently.  When we do say it, we need to take the time to go through the steps of an apology in this blog so that our hearts can really process what we have done and so when we approach our partner, we know that the “I’m sorry” will be a genuine one.  We are all human and we all make mistakes.  We can’t stop making mistakes, but with a little care and thoughtfulness, we can get the “I’m sorry” part right every time.  I’m sure they will appreciate it.

About wmarsau

Most of the people who visit this blog already know me so it is kind of pointless to try to describe my life in this short little blurb. What is the purpose of this blog is the question. Over the course of this last year I have been exposed to some amazing people and have made personal development an important focus of my life. Being successful, not by the world's standards, but by God's has become my main focus. Mainly, I want to work to develop myself as a person who is kinder, reaches out to help those in need, and truly makes a difference in this world. To this end I am constantly reading and am exposed to so many differnet things along the way. These have been amazing and it is helping me grow so much. Then I started to think, "Why am I being so selfish?" You need to share with others these amazing things you are learning and being exposed to. That is where this blog comes into play. As I am reading and experiencing things that are truly amazing and life changing, I will be posting them on this blog. Obviously, I will not be able to post everything in it's entirity, but I will be summarizing them and letting you know the source of the article or book they come from so you can check them out later if you wish. I want this blog to be a place where you can go to often and be inspired and leave here with a smile on your face. I will be covering all kinds of different topics dealing with success and personal development. Topics like taking action, relationships, living to your potential, reinventing yourself, finances, leadership, presenting, goal setting, time management, etc. I will also be occasionally including topics on cooking, music, and gardening because they are special interests of mine. As a little disclaimer, I have given my life to the Lord and he is #1 in my life. I am his servant and everything I do in life is for his glory. With that being said, religion influences all areas of my life. There will be references to God in this blog because I can't seperate God from this or any other area of my life. I want you to know that if you do not believe in God, that is fine. That is your choice. This blog is open to anyone who wants to better their life. I will not be trying to influence or pressure anyone into having a relationship with the Lord from this site. Please don't feel uncomfortable. You can just read the portions of the blog that you wish to. I am inviting you to go on a journey with me. We will learn together to be the kind of people we were designed to be. Anyone can make a difference in this world, but it starts%
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