If you have not read Part 1 of this blog yet, I would highly recommend going back and reading that blog before you read this blog. This blog will make very little sense if you have not read Part 1 first. You can read Part 1 of this blog series here.
In Part 2 of this blog series, we talked about action 1, which was discovering your partner’s little joys. You can read part 2 of this blog series here.
In today’s blog, we will be discussing the 2nd action step that I have come up with that I can work on doing that will help sustain my present relationship and future marriage with Steph. Remember, these are all action steps you can use and work on with me to improve your present relationships or marriages as well.
Action 2: Kiss Unselfishly
What I mean here is let your kisses fly with total unabandonment. You can and should kiss your partner anytime and anyplace. You can kiss them on the cheek. On their neck. On their forehead. On their lips. You can kiss them in the kitchen. On the porch. In the living room. In the car. Even in the aisle of the supermarket. You can kiss them when they look great or even when they don’t.
If you really want to make it special, hold their face gently in your hands and look at them for a full 5 seconds in the eyes before kissing them.
You can even try kissing across the room. If you are at a gathering with a lot of people around and you find yourselves on opposite sides of the room, catch their attention and blow them a kiss from across the room. It can be a special moment that just the two of you share.
If you are married and have children, you should be sure that you kiss your mate in front of the children. The kids need to know that passion is a viable option within a committed marriage. Your kids don’t see that very often on TV. Kissing your partner in plain sight builds a sense of security for your children in a world in which many of their peers have unstable family relationships. If you can get you children to say “Ewww” or “Get a room,” you know you are doing it right.
Don’t kiss your partner only when you want something. Try to do it as often as possible at all different times and under all different circumstances. Kiss them unselfishly. Make your kisses a frequent, loving gift delivered with absolutely no agenda.
There is a great passage from the bible that I think really gets the idea of how we should love and cherish our partner and I would like to share that passage with you.
Song of Songs 4:1-10 (NIV)
4 How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from the hills of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions’ dens
and the mountain haunts of leopards.
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!
I am going to take this opportunity to be very transparent here. I suck at kissing. I’m not saying I am a bad kisser, but I have never been a person who really enjoys kissing in general. It is very hard for me to do what I said to do above because I really don’t like to kiss, even the people I love the most. Unfortunately, Steph has had to be on the receiving end of this and I have not kissed her nearly as much as I should have. In private and in public. Of all the actions I have and will be outlining in this blog series, this is perhaps the hardest one for me to do better at. I wanted to include it though because I know this is an area that I really need to improve in. Steph deserves to be kissed more than I currently am and this is something I really am going to work hard at improving.
If any of you struggle with kissing your partner enough, know that you are not alone. This is an area that we can all do better. Even if it is not something that seems natural to us, it is something we can improve. They are worth our love and our kisses. I know Steph is worth it!