If you missed Part 1 of this blog, I would highly recommend going back and reading that blog before reading this blog. This blog will make very little sense if you have not read Part 1 first. You can read Part 1 of this blog here.
As promised, we are beginning our journey in this blog series of looking at the 7 action steps I have come up with that I can work on doing that will help sustain my present relationship and future marriage with Steph.
Going through this exercise of writing this blog series is serving three important purposes. The first is that it is revealing my intentions and action plan to my partner so she is aware of what my plan is, she can appreciate why I am doing what I am doing, and she can help me during the times I am struggling to do these things. It is very hard to get help from others when they are not even aware of what you are trying to do.
The second important purpose for writing this blog series is that by me writing them out and posting them for the world to see, I am making my committment to my plan public and thus making myself accountable not only to Steph, but everyone who reads these blogs. I have found that by writing something down you are more likely to do something. When you share what you have written down to someone else, it makes the chances of the plan getting executed even greater.
The third and perhaps most important reason for writing this blog series is to give you, the readers of this blog, a chance to learn from my plan and perhaps adopt some of these action steps into you own relationships. Since I am a man, this is coming from a man’s viewpoint so the information will be most readily useful to a man, but I certainly think that any woman could benefit from this series as well. These action steps can apply to anyone who is in any form of relationship with someone else. Even if you are not currently in a relationship with someone, some of these action steps could be applied to any form of relationship you might have with any other person.
The truth is that each of us can experience a better kind of love than the one we are currently experiencing. We just have to be willing to put in a little time and effort. Following these action steps will focus our time and effort in a positive direction so we can attain a maximum return for our time and efforts.
Now that we have established the reasons and applications of this series, I would like to jump right into our first action step.
Action 1: Discover Their Little Joys
So what you do is you make a list of things that your partner likes. Keep it very simple and use just one word whenever possible. You can keep this list with you, perhaps in your wallet, or in a place that you can readily get to it from time to time. Even if you don’t look at the list everyday, the exercise of just writing the list can bring great clarity to you as to exactly what are the things your partner likes.
You will use the list as a reference for when you want to get your partner something or do something for them. Any person appreciates gifts and things being done for them. If the gifts and actions are related to things that the other person likes, it makes the gift or action even better.
By going through the action of creating this list, you will gain all kinds of fresh insights and a newer appreciation for your partner. You’ll begin to see them as only a devoted partner can see them. There are things you will know about your partner that no one else does, even their family. That means that you have the insight and power to provide you partner with little moments of joy unlike anyone else in the world can. Only you can prompt that pure intimate smile from them and it is something you should take advantage of to bring them the most intimate joy you can in their life.
To serve as an example of this action step, I will create a list of Steph’s little joys for you here:
Steph’s Little Joys
wrapping Christmas presents
spending time with her nephew Conor
being served a low-fat, home cooked meal
being told I appreciate her and the things she does
going to visit her parents
watching our TV shows
reading a good book
playing board games occasionally
being held as she falls asleep
being told how pretty she looks
a cookie for dessert
unexpected gifts or compliments
going to see a good movie
having someone listen to her
By creating this list, I now have a reference that I can do to when I want to do something for Steph or buy her a small gift. I know that if it is one of the things on this list, it will bring her joy and brighten her day.
This list is an evolving list. You can add to it at any time. As you get to know someone better and more deeply, you will learn new joys they have that you don’t have on the list. Just go find you list and add to it.
I would like to encourage each one of you to take a few minutes and write a list of your own. This list is a very powerful tool you can use to bring joy into the heart of that person you care so much about. Bringing joy into another person’s life is a pretty cool thing and you hold the key to their heart. Use it wisely.